Messy Lesson: Our rise & response in the difficult moments never goes unnoticed.
When it came to my customers and service delivery, my mind would rarely accept anything less than perfection. Not because I knew the stakes were high, it was an operating room after all. I commanded perfection of myself to avoid the systemic prickly feeling that would infiltrate my cells when I felt I had disappointed someone, no-one more than myself.
Perfection became my solution of avoidance. I’d created a fixed mindset so rigid it may as well have been cryogenically preserved – frozen. Shattered upon impact. All to avoid my mind becoming a boxing ring when imperfection would prevail and anxiety would descend. There it would go ten rounds with my confidence. My anxiety, Irene, winning every time.
It was an unsustainable way of being.
An operating room demands sameness, because sameness minimises error and flatlines emotions. It can be applied to any industry.
“In my mind I had succeeded when my masked spinal surgeon’s heartbeat barely rose above resting and they were smiling behind their mask.”
Peta Sitcheff ~ My Beautiful Mess
As I considered how to create a healthier mindset, I chose to shine a beaming light on these shadows. Then the penny dropped, these imperfect moments were precious jewels in the customer service crown.
They afforded opportunity to demonstrate what I stood for, sowing the seeds of the legacy I hoped to one day leave.
Unexpected moments are emotive and powerful. They expose our vulnerabilities. If a pleasant surprise, they warm our insides with a romantic candlelit glow. If an unwelcome disappointment, they tend to invoke a pyrotechnic extravaganza of angst.
When managed with intention, unwelcome moments are a powerful facilitator of trust within customer relationships.
What represents these moments?
The times we succumb to the perfectly normal human tendency of forgetting a small detail that has seismic consequences. When we are dealt negative feedback about a colleague. When something out of our control (like a product breakage) tips a customer over the edge, or perhaps communication becomes scrambled in the airwaves and the wires of interpretation become crossed.
As a sales professional, our rise and response in the difficult moments is noticed.
How we respond at the time – the key to success and a validation for our customer of their trust in us.
As I’ve evolved my mindset to one of growth, I’ve reframed imperfect moments by accepting that imperfection is a part of life. Outwardly, it is an opportunity to generate trust. Inwardly, it is gentler on the mind, reduces anxiety and shows self-compassion.
How do we generate trust from imperfect moments?
Respond vs React.
As tempting as it might be, defensive actions such as blame will pour fuel on the fire.
Call on your inner scout who chooses curiosity, over your inner soldier who chooses to defend and blame.
Separate the task from the individual’s emotions. Focussing on the former.
Understand your Customer’s perspective – in their words, in that moment.
What is the implication of what has happened?
What does success look like for my customer?
How can I selflessly navigate the situation to achieve success for the customer?
Construct your questions avoiding the word “why”. This will potentially inflame emotion. Calibrated questions starting with “What” & “How” will give you useful information you can use.
Articulate your understanding back your customer to demonstrate you have heard them and you understand.
Own it - later.
In the heat of emotion, rarely does a customer want to hear the reason behind why something went wrong.
Park it during the emotional storm and ensure that after the fact if you, your organisation or product is at fault, you apologise and acknowledge the error.
If you personally have made a mistake, don’t be afraid to say so. I’ve always found bravery is admired and respected.
Articulate what you have learnt from the situation and commit to following up with a resolution to prevent it being repeated.
Follow Up
Trust stems from reliability. If you say you will follow up within a time frame, commit to that timeframe.
Follow up creates a purposeful point of engagement.
If relevant, consider making a note to reflect in 3 months time. What have you learnt since that incident? How have you course corrected? How has this impacted efficiency and outcomes?
When we prioritise the development of trusting connections through our actions and tailored communication, we reap the benefits of what this affords. Trusting relationships offer transparency, information, collaboration and forgiveness - for all involved.
Next time you are hit between the eyes with an imperfect moment, take a deep breath and consider how you can welcome it, manage it and make the most of the opportunity it provides.
There are fewer opportunities as powerful as well navigated imperfection to bring about greater customer loyalty.
Peta x
Reading Recommendations:
The Practice - by Seth Godin
Brave Not Perfect - by Reshma Saujani
The Gifts of Imperfection - by Brené Brown