How do you make mentorship work for you?

Mentorship.  What feeling does the word conjure for you?

For some, it leaves us puzzled. We admire from afar those who seamlessly flood their network with fruitful relationships that fill their sails and propel them through their careers. Yet we don’t know where to start.

For others, assumption hijacks our brain and paralyses our progress.  “Surely, they are too busy?” or, “I’m not important enough for them to help me.” So we do nothing.

There are those lone soldiers who want to “go it alone” and lastly, others who despite all efforts, can’t seem to gain traction in the developing mentor relationship.  They sit there befuddled, wondering “What did I do wrong?”

A great mentoring relationship is balanced. It stems from both individuals understanding that their roles are of equal importance. Both positions are privileged.

Mentorship is a privilege. 

Mentee-ship is a privilege. 

Following years of operating as a silo, I now appreciate the fulfilment human connection brings to my life, particularly my professional life.  It is one of the four core necessities our brain mandates – connection, learning, giving and purpose.

When I was redefining my professional world, I was fortunate to meet a successful, high profile individual who I’d long admired.  He almost flawed me when out of the blue, he asked the simple question, “How can I help?”

“Why would he want to help me?”  I thought.

“Surely, he won’t follow up.” I heard myself saying to a friend as I walked away.  I wasn’t sure I could take more disappointment after a very rocky life chapter.

To my pleasant surprise, follow up he did. 

The influence of generous mentorship is powerful and as a mentee, worthy of consideration when crafting our aspirational professional journey.  The value of the mentoring process isn’t necessarily in the introductions or the tangible gestures these individuals offer. It will take time and patience before they will be willing to help you with the big things. They need to know, like and trust you first.  True value is in the internal comfort that comes from knowing they are in your corner.

Comfort in knowing that they can see what you can’t, they have been before where you are now, and that they believe - you can. This is priceless.

As a mentor, to have the trust of another, their vulnerabilities exposed in the safe space you provide - is an honour.  The privilege, the epitome of servant leadership. 

In either role, we set ourselves up for success when we adopt a selfless mindset – to give without expectation of return.  To serve, promote and lift, rather than take, protect or judge.

Both roles are about constantly paying it forward.

How can you incorporate mentorship into your professional growth strategy?  Here are a few questions & tips to get you started: 

Mentee Questions:

1.     Who do I admire who is on my aspirational professional pathway that I could connect with today?

2.     Does my introversion stop me from networking because I find it so challenging? 

3.     How am I intentionally developing trust with my mentor or those I would like to approach as a mentor?

4.     Am I offering help or just asking for it?

5.     What is the truth about where I am today that I’ve been too ashamed to admit?

Mentor tips:

1.     Set expectations from the start - how you can help, how you will communicate. 

2.     Be mindful of over-promising and under-delivering.  If you don’t have capacity, you are better off declaring this from the start rather than overcommitting yourself and disappointing another along the way.

3.     Remember a leader’s words are always amplified.  Choose your words wisely and understand their impact.

4.     Consider how you would want this mentee to describe you to others and adopt the behaviours to reflect this.

5. Never forget the courage it has taken for the person in front of you to reach out. Your response can strengthen or weaken their bravery muscle.

Owning our professional pathway means intentionally considering those who influence us - in the past, present and future.

Enriching your circle of professional influence - your responsibility. What is your 2021 plan to enrich yours?

Peta x

Author of My Beautiful Mess

Reading Recommendations:

1) Mirror Thinking, by Fiona Murden

2) The Most Powerful You, by Kathy Caprino