Human Connection is the most valuable gift we can give this Christmas.

Dec 22

15 years ago, I remember booking surgeries for patients on the 23rd of December & naively thinking to myself, “who on earth would want an operation two days before Christmas?”

For me, I’d never known Christmas to be any different from the loving family festival we had each year. A Christmas Eve & Day defined by tradition & sameness. Anticipation building months before to ensure nothing would hijack the custom we’d grown to love.

It’s pretty special.

I now know, those surgery bookings were for those who often had nowhere else to go on a day we are all expected, to go somewhere.

Suddenly, these patients had an answer to the question, “What are you doing for Christmas?”

In hospital, they wouldn’t wake up alone.

They knew behind the sound of the breakfast trolley clanging up the hallway, would be a smiling face delivering their breakfast tray. They would likely see a decoration or two. Hear a carol playing softly from the nurse station, & there would be at least one person to whom they could wish a merry Christmas.

For these patients, their Christmas gift was human connection.

I found myself recently reflecting on this memory, while facilitating a client’s team meeting.

I’d just met with my Beyond Blue team, & chose to close this next meeting with a reminder of the importance of human connection for our emotional well being.

A courageous young team member vulnerably piped up, & shared her insights from the day before.

When asking her clients what they were up to for Christmas. She was shocked & felt ill-prepared when twice in the one day, she was confronted by the response, - “I’m doing nothing.”

Like me, she knew no different than a Christmas marked by tradition, loved ones & closeness.

In front of the group, she admitted her immediate reaction was to stop asking. A natural human response to feeling uncomfortable, particularly in a situation you’ve not experienced before. Ironically, a response that coats us in armour & does the opposite to connection. It promotes isolation.

It made me ponder, “How do I better prepare my young team for life’s realities?”

Human connection is a gift.

It’s healing properties nourish our soul & fill a lonely heart. It settles an anxious mind, opening a hatch for ruminating thoughts to escape. It helps us to feel understood, cared for. That we matter.

Human connection isn’t a want, it’s a human need. Its absence, proven to make us sick.

I was saddened last week by the news of Sir tWitch-a-lots passing. Who is tWitch, you ask?

He was a Dad, husband, a 40 year old gent, who delivered copious joy through is talent. He warmed hearts, lit up smiley faces & by golly could he put a jig in your step. His rhythmic moves were infectious. I thought he was terrific. But all any of us saw, was what he allowed the world to see.

He was also a human who needed to escape.

Department stores, high streets & social media fool us into believing this time is universally joyful, wonderful & colourful for everyone - because Christmas is a business.

In reality, it’s simply not.

For some, Christmas can be doused in shame & amplify loneliness. Particularly if your circumstance doesn’t fit the commercial stereotype.

Human connection is inexpensive & accessible to every one of us. It’s an invaluable gift, requiring no more than our presence, awareness & empathy.

What can it look like?

Eye contact & an acknowledging nod. A listening ear. A compliment to a stranger. A random message saying, “you are in my thoughts.” A moment of presence on a day with no breathing space.

What if instead of the seasonally rote, “what are you doing for Christmas?”, we chose to ask questions where the responses were less likely to amplify feelings of aloneness & more likely to connect us with the one person who is always with us…ourselves