Messy Lesson: Women can succeed in selling to male customers. It starts by remaining true to ourselves.

I remember it as if it were yesterday.

My head was buried in the boot of my car, fossicking for gimmicky trinkets designed to entice.  Desperately trying to ignore the beads of sweat on my upper lip, all I wanted to do was avoid the situation ahead.  To dive back into the safety of my company owned vehicle and be rid of the prickly discomfort ravaging my body.

It was time to give myself a stern talking to.

“Get a grip girl, you’ve had weeks of sales training.  You know this.  What’s the worst that can happen?”

 Then my imposter would kick in.

 “You’re a woman, they are men.  What could you possibly know about erections that they don’t?”

They had a point. 

And that was how my corporate sales career started.  Selling Viagra.

As a young, timid female I sold almost exclusively to male GP customers twice my age.  My daily topic of conversation, erectile dysfunction.  Within the first month, I had heard every joke, pun and snide remark under the sun.  By most I was treated with the utmost of professional respect, by a select few I was tested in every way you could imagine. 

Quickly I had to establish the terms and conditions of my professional conduct.  It was beyond what my company had taught me in training.  The subject wasn’t even broached. 

I had to work this out for myself.  My confidence, success and career longevity depended on it.

The life lessons learnt during this professional chapter could never have been taught in a classroom.  They shaped the person I would later become.

The awkward conversations fostered courage.  The minefields I navigated strengthened my resilience.  Little did I realise the uncompromising moral compass I was weaving through my professional tapestry.

My gratitude for this moral foundation was at the forefront of my mind as I transitioned into the operating room selling spinal prosthesis to all male Neurosurgeons.

The intimidation was real.

“What could I possibly have to say that they would want to hear? Don’t they know everything?”  I recall asking The Director in my job interview. 

As it turns out, a lot. 

Few of my surgeons were looking for information from their industry sales professionals.  Most of them had galvanised opinions formed from years of intense clinical training. 

I learnt quickly if I was going to have any influential impact, I’d have to prioritise the development of trust.

They were going to be influenced only by people they liked and people they trusted.

Here I was again.  A female sales professional selling to male customers twice my age but this time, the stakes were much higher.  There was risk for my customer that meant change was elusive.  It would take time.  The time it would take to earn their trust.

How did I maintain my confidence as a female sales professional with male customers? 

I stamped out my preconceived ideas

I didn’t need to be anyones “mate”, exercise training partner, drink beer or play golf to be a successful sales professional (don’t get me wrong, I love whacking 100 golf balls with a driver, beer in hand!) But not with my customers.  I was there to make a professional impact.  If I let my preconceived ideas intimidate me, they would limit my professional pursuit. 

Interestingly, I’ve now workshopped a number of male sales coaching clients through the scenario of “it is difficult to hold my customers to account when they consider us friends. I find it awkward to ask for the business.”

Maintaining professionalism through the boundaries we create makes it much easier to do the job we are paid to do. 

It’s worth considering keeping it black & white with social media (SM) too. LinkedIn is professional. The rest is social. There is no need to accept a SM invitation outside of LinkedIn and if you are sending one yourself ask first “how will this be perceived?”

I set personal “Terms & Conditions”

Proceeding with confidence meant having clearly a defined purpose & personal values. I talk about this in repeated blogs, because it matters.  Not just casually thinking it, saying it out loud with conviction.  

Defining what I stood for upfront, let’s call it the legacy I wished to one day leave, was my compass.  It enabled me to stay in my lane.  I became less distracted by what was happening around me & laser focused on the reputation I was fostering.

The personal terms & conditions that fostered this legacy brought ease to seemingly difficult decisions.  It made it easy to say “no”. 

We have to feel comfortable saying “no” when something doesn’t feel right.

Rather than focusing on the superficial loss, applaud yourself for the investment in the legacy you a building.  These are the boundaries that protect the asset that is you.

I had an action plan for communication & behaviour

A defined plan on how I would bring my purpose and values to life became my professional road map.  Through my communication, generosity and the connections I would form.

I knew how I would communicate, when and what for.

I knew what behaviours I wanted reflected through the customer experience our surgeons received daily.

I was disciplined in upholding these behaviours which in time, set expectations. 

Expectations repeated, instilled trust. 

I expected to be tested

Expecting to have my boundaries tested allowed me to be prepared for managing tenuous situations. By golly did I have some doozies!

In reality, those who tested me were in the minority.  However, when it did occur I was prepared to call it out.  Having the words ready to go meant there was no second guessing. It strengthened my resilience tenfold each time.

I learnt that a decision based in my best interest, was ultimately a decision in the best interest of the business I represented.

Ultimately, courage in the professional world starts with believing in ourselves. I knew that so long as I kept true to myself & genuinely cared about my customers in a respectful & professional manner, trust would form and the business would come.

Never should we feel we have to be someone we’re not.

That isn’t good for anyone. Our business, our customer and least of all - ourselves.

Peta x

Did you find this article helpful? Read more stories from my sales career in my book, My Beautiful Mess - Surviving Burnout & Rediscovering Me

Order at www.mybeautifulmess.com.au

Looking to be inspired? Feel free to drop me a line to learn more about my speaking & coaching services.